My Heart is an Empty Room

Best listened to with this song in mind:

Yesterday was my Birthday and at work I had an amazing privilege of having our chef prepare a special menu for my birthday. I chose Chicken & Beef Empanadas with Shrimp Enchiladas, a Southwestern Caesar Salad with Chicken Tortilla soup, and quite a good cake.

As I was leaving the cafeteria with a couple of my coworkers asked me if I had gotten a picture of the cake. Let me pause for a moment here to catch you guys up on a few facts of my life you may have missed.

 

I don’t take photographs that often. If you take a look at my Facebook albums you will see very few photos that aren’t simply re-shared from somewhere else. And even when I do take photographs they are usually of cool things like some jewels at the Natural History Museum or things I find funny. I hardly document my life … at all. Okay, un pause.

When my coworker asked me if I had taken a picture of it my reaction was apparently a “scoff” followed by “I don’t keep mementos” with such an air that apparently I came off as if I live a spartan existence.

It was then that I realized again, that I do live a spartan life and I’m okay with it. I packed up all my things into my car thrice over the past year, largely by duping about half of my stuff each move.

For those who gave me hallmark cards, I’m sorry they were removed from my life a long time ago, but the memory of your words were not. To all the broadway plays I’ve seen I’ve only kept a couple of your playbills but that doesn’t mean I love you any less. And to my family of whom I only have a single photo from my sister’s wedding I’m sorry. I really do love you.

I guess what I am saying is that apparently my actions make people see me as Spartan and Heartless. I don’t collect memories I dump them, and the ones I do collect live in a shoe box.

Well my life is about growing and fixing flaws I have in my character and so I have an idea that combines Vision boards, CharlieIsSoCoolLike’s Wall of Stuff, and my book of limited mementos to try and, as it were, help me find a heart.

As I have moved into a new place I not have clean, blank walls on which to make a vision-boarded wall of stuff and so over the next few weeks expect a few updates about my additions to David Baker’s “I’m totally not heartless but have feelings … Wall”