“Somewhere in Des Moines or San Antonio there is a young gay person who all the sudden realizes that he or she is gay; knows that if their parents find out they will be tossed out of the house, their classmates will taunt the child, and the Anita Bryant’s and John Briggs’ are doing their part on TV. And that child has several options: staying in the closet, and suicide. And then one day that child might open the paper that says “Homosexual elected in San Francisco” and there are two new options: the option is to go to California, or stay in San Antonio and fight. Two days after I was elected I got a phone call and the voice was quite young. It was from Altoona, Pennsylvania. And the person said “Thanks”. And you’ve got to elect gay people, so that thousand upon thousands like that child know that there is hope for a better world; there is hope for a better tomorrow. Without hope, not only gays, but those who are blacks, the Asians, the disabled, the seniors, the us’s: without hope the us’s give up. I know that you can’t live on hope alone, but without it, life is not worth living. And you, and you, and you, and you have got to give them hope.”
-Harvey Milk, 1978

Somewhere in Phoenix or Salt Lake City there is a young gay Mormon who all of the sudden realizes that he or she is gay. They look at their doctrine and they know that if people find out they will be taunted, pitied, possibly tossed out of the house. This child has several options: Stay in the closet or suicide. And then one day that child goes to Church and hears the same rhetoric that has been said for the last 4000 years and realizes that there is a need for new light and knowledge. And there are two new options: Go to California and leave the church, the lifeblood of their identity, or stay in Salt Lake and Fight! Fight not for equal rights, but for equal answers. You’ve got to pray and petition God like the children of Israel for deliverance from darkness. And you’ve got to band together, thousands upon thousands of those like that child that know there is hope for a better world. A world of light. For without that Hope, not only the Gays, but the liberals, the intellectuals, the feminists, the us’s: without hope the us’s give up. I know that you cannot live on hope alone, but without it, life is not worth living. And you, and you, and you, and all of us, have to Pray and give them Hope!
-David Baker, 2009

I am a peculiar person. The odds that one individual out of the 6.7 Billion humans on this earth will be Mormon is about 0.192% The odds of being both Mormon and Gay is roughly 0.013%. Needless to say I am an oddity. A minority. A pittance of concern compared to the earth. I have been told by my church and the gay community that reconciling these two facets of gay and Mormon is impossible. Yet I am trying to find a balance between these twin souls of mine. While some tell me that there is no middle ground, there is only black or white, a 1 or a 0 I can not believe them. So here I am stuck in the middle. Trying to discover the one true solution to the MoHo’s Dilemma. A Japanese Proverb states that The perfect blossom is a rare thing. You could spend your life looking for one, and it would not be a wasted life. Many great people have spent their lives trying to find the Way, the Path, the Tao. I do not feel as if my life will be wasted if, after dedicating myself to the search, I left this world with no answer, but only if I keep looking for one. I might focus on activism, advocating for changes in opinion from botht he gay community and the church and its members. I might focus on the spiritual boulders that I face, trying to illustrate how I have overcome, traversed, skirted or submitted to them. I might, on occasion get personal and discuss events in my life as they relate to the MoHo’s Dilemma. But I will always have my focus on finding perfection, on finding kanzen, the complete completeness, the absolute truth, the way, the life, the light, always my focus will be on trying to discover this middle path that I know exists

I am sorry to say this but we are an infection, a plague upon the world. We are like a virus, spreading to each and every person, transmitting ourselves and our symptoms upon all those who “know” us. We are viral. 20 years ago we could never have dreamed of having such impact upon any stage, we would not have known of each others existence so profoundly, We would not have the power to infect others with knowledge about us that we currently have.

I was just on facebook and I saw this article by Jose Vargas, a political technology writer for the Washington post. I have followed his stuff concerning the rising generation and their impact on the political sphere and have greatly admired his work up till now. He has discussed many aspects of this virality (yes I meant that and not virility) that each and every one of us posses. He has discussed how, using the internet, citizens of Idaho got a huge amount of people supporting Obama. His newest article is entitled “Bloggers are changing the way the gay rights movement communicates.”

This article shows how a group of people with no voice without the internet, now have a large voice in the white house and it is through this technology. We have the power to become like this group. We have the power to band together, to share our message with all that we know. The interesting thing about this is that this is a movement that is being propelled exponentially and it will not stop. This movement is like a stone cut without hands growing until it fills the whole earth. We are here, we have a voice, and we have more power than we know.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others” – Nelson

We have the ability to become the city on the hill, the light uncovered, and as we share the light of that candle with others it does not diminish our own light, but increases the light of the whole. As we share our information, our knowledge, our stories with those around us we are illuminating the whole. We need to get up, to stand up, not to leave, but to speak. We need to share our stories with all those who will listen because who knows who the beating of our small butterfly wings will influence for the better. Who knows what torrential storm of change, what purifying force we can become. We will never know if we stay silent, but if we continue to stay silent then what becomes of us? We fade. We become worthless. So speak up, and share yourself with the world, do not limit yourself to the few circles of interactions that make up your life, but expand them for we are all members of the HUMAN race. We are all connected to each other.